i saw Maggie today in the Blue Line/ Red Line transfer tunnel. She was walking the opposite direction and didn't see me and I only really noticed her about right feet away. Still, I knew it was her and it completely took me by surprise, as these things always do... She looked really good and, basically, I just felt really bad seeing her. Fact of the matter is, she's become something of a running gag for me in my life because she's the one girlfriend I had who I compltely trated like crap and got away with it. Not to say I didn't know what I was doing at the time, but she just took everything I dished out, which I consistently took advantage of. We're talking facial cumshots, free rides to stores only I wanted to go to, booty calls when they were completely inappropiate (ie 'why don't you drive down from Wisconsin so I can fuck you and then make you stay at your parents because I want to sleep by myself?'), oh yeah and some hotel issues... and facial cum-shots. Boy, was our relationship demeaning... Ugh, leaves quite the bad taste in my mouth.

Anyway, the bottom line is that she looked really good, certainly that she had at least come into her own, which made my both happy for her and sad at the same time... God, I was such a dick to her and I know that it's self-pity but she never did anything to treat me bad and I completely took advantage of her trust and innocent nature. Not to say I didn't enjoy it at the time... plus, I got to live out a couple porn fantasies...

Quite honestly though, I was never that interested in her as a person... just more of a fetish and god knows I said somethings to her that I shouldn't have. Ay de mi, the mistakes of my past...

Eh, it's just guilt, I suppose. No-one deserves to be treated like that.

Anyhoo, saw Goldmember last night and it was **1/2 stars. Funny, but not even half as creative as the other two.

Going to see High Contrast play an in-store at Tower today. Hopefully, it'll be kosher.

oh yeah, the Gerhard Richter exhibit is now at the Art Institute. Dead thrilled, I'm thinking that J and I will go next weekend. also forgot to mention that I attended the Gursky exhibit at MCA which was fantastic. One photo with a bridge and a man walking down a hill captivated me for some reason. very solitary and grey...

had a very relaxing weekend. friday night,. stayed in and worked on a whole bunch of tracks still trying to finish my jienan ep. was fairly productive music-wise, so i was somehwat pleased with that. then, for some reason, ah! because i had promised J I would finish the pictures site, I worked on the Actually Records website and finally put up three pages with links. hotchie motchie! I like the way they all look but lordy, I wish I knew some JAVA because they are just so damn bland. Still, I like the aesthetic of them all... oh well, at least something is up..

saturday day was spent working on more tracks. started up about five new ones and actually finished three! Amazed and feeling so incredibly creative these days... I love it. Have started making new sounds again which is really exciting... interesting time developing new sonic atmospheres by combining live recordings with studio sounds with organic homemade ones... whatever, the fun thing is that alot of the jienan ep sounds like it's recorded live whcih i really enjoy. feels much more open than alot of my material.

sunday was cool. JonM came over to do some recording with the guitar... which was fine but the real highlight was putting together two songs we've worked on towards a live sound... and i have to say, i'm pretty impressed. shoegaze guitar/hip hop/ heavy electronics/ indie style singing... interesting mixture... JonM's going to scandanavia for two weeks... damn depressing ,really.

after he left, J came over with that 'just worked out' look that turned me on completely... brilliant sex followed... then 40 minute bike ride. good times, good times...

ryuichi sakamoto is coming 09/08... oh hell, i'm exicited...