hypercritical

2002-11-06T09:44:00.000-06:00

ok, so for the first time in ages, i started the day off with a heavy dose of anxiety. this comes as a direct result of the fucking elections... what the hell is worng iwth the citizens of this country? why can't we get our shit together and realize war is NOT a good thing. how could we let the GOP take back the senate AND hold control over the house.

We're officially fucked now. Completely and utterly fucked. I'm so bitter.

At least Illinois is basically all Democrat now. At least Jim 'prolife' Ryan isn't in office.

But we're going to war now. I just know it... and that's why I felt so edgy this morning.

This is going to be a stupid war.

I'm so dissapointed.

2002-10-08T18:53:00.000-05:00

Sitting here at AKD... came early to discuss installation issues but haven't talked about anything except... well, nothing.

Had an interesting and funtastic weekend: cedar point, browns game, record shopping, shoe theft, taking grand dumps!

what else...
gotta chat with anida... worthless entry, really...

2002-09-25T13:05:00.000-05:00

I'm so sick of work right now. I was never trained yet I'm supposed to know how everything works. Plus, I'm getting rammed with work and my priorities... well, I get fivew different perspectives from five different people so it's a damn joke. Plus, the clients kinda rot. I find them jobs and they're hired... but then they decide that they would rather wait for something better. WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY WAITING FOR? And after they wait too long, they bitch. Goddamn stupid hillbillies.

2002-09-24T01:17:00.000-05:00

Went to Arto Lindsay's speech at the Art Institute tonight and to say the least, it was incredibly inspiring. Here is an artist who has inspired in countless ways... from his subtlety, career path, lyric writing, etc. It's indescribable, really. And to hear him give his opinions on topics to which I agreed, I have to say that rather egotistically, it helped to validate certain ideological cultural motifs I've had.

Anyway, met the man and just said 'thanks.' The thing is, a couple of years ago I would've jumped at asking him questions but in the last few celebrities 'meetings' I've had, all I've wanted to say is 'thanks.' Because it's really useless trying to express what their music means to me, you know? What can I say? 'Arto, 'O Corpo Subtil' helped me through a tough breakup. Thanks.'

Maybe, I just don't see the point.

Anyway, picked up The Streets' album 'Original Pirate Material' and I'm digging it. 2step beats with distinctly British rapping about distinctly British things. Like calling kids 'geezers' and namechecking Fairlights as a common youth tool is interesting. I know his album's being released stateside next month but I'm really hard-pressed to believe anyone can really 'get it.' I know I sure as hell can't. What do I know about being a British youth?

But I'm sure it's going to be the next hip album. I'm sure of it.

Also picked up 'Plastic Surgery 2' comp for my bigbwuh, Layo and Bushwacka's new one, and oh, what else... DJ Kicks Playgroup, which is BAD-ASS. It's a kick-ass compilation of distinctly NYC tunes. With Bobby O tracks in there, too. Wicked good, that.

PG's + Underworld's new ones come out tomorrow/today + Singin in the Rain DVD. I'ts going to be a good consumer day!

2002-09-18T14:18:00.000-05:00

I had the worst pho lunch ever about twenty minutes ago. It's a new restaurant in Chinatown Square and it's obviously opened by Chinese people who don't know the first thing about good pho. I mean, I've had Raxx that's better than this shite. Don't know why I broke my pattern of my 1.50 dim sum lunch. i should've known better... this place had 'suck-ass' written all over it.

Reading over my entry from Monday, I find it somewhat amusing. Angry and violent, yes but...

On the fun side side of things, I received this txt message from Len in Thailand. ' I just took a gigantic dump and fucked up a Thai toilet. Wassup, yo?'
I nearly passed out laughing...

Drinking this stuff called 'Vitamin Water' by Glaceau. It's like Gatorade but much lighter and less syrupy. But who am I kidding, this shit won't help for shite after working out. God bless the Gatorade... especially Riptide Rush... mmm...

Phone call...
HA! Just received brilliant news that one of my most useless clients is getting fired tomorrow... which couldn't be better news to me. Dude was pathetic... and racist to boot.
Hazaa!

2002-09-16T15:42:00.000-05:00

Fuckin' hell. Heather moved her shit in yesterday and my god, when I found out I was just really pissed. Mind you, I told both her and Dee that I was ok with her moving her fucking THREE dogs... man, who the fuck has three fucking dogs? You're 28, what the fuck do you need three dogs for? Anyone? Oh, and you know they even really count as dogs because why? THEY'RE GODDAMN SCHNAUZERS!!!! Possibly the most worthless dog breeds (next to poodles) out there. And the hilarity is that she calls them her 'babies.' Babies? More like worthless horse turds... I mean, while I'm sure it has to do with the fact that I've been raised in a patriarchal society but is it so bad to only like dogs that don't seem worthless? How about a nice German Shepard or Black Lab? Something regal. Not the dog equivalent to a anemic midget.

You know, one has to think... if Darwinian logic runs correct, why do schnauzers still exist? I'll tell you why... but the human pity party likes all things cute and whiny. We should all let nature take it's course and let the boa constricters of the world go to town on the little canine rat fuckers. Oi vey.

And if one of those little fuckjobs does ANYTHING to my stuff, I will personally send it in a shoebox to Greenland where a polar bear can have it's way with the little bastard.

Why are human beings so compassionate for shit that, if mother nature were to let run her course, would be extinct within minutes? More of our self-importance, methinks...

2002-07-31T10:42:00.000-05:00

i saw Maggie today in the Blue Line/ Red Line transfer tunnel. She was walking the opposite direction and didn't see me and I only really noticed her about right feet away. Still, I knew it was her and it completely took me by surprise, as these things always do... She looked really good and, basically, I just felt really bad seeing her. Fact of the matter is, she's become something of a running gag for me in my life because she's the one girlfriend I had who I compltely trated like crap and got away with it. Not to say I didn't know what I was doing at the time, but she just took everything I dished out, which I consistently took advantage of. We're talking facial cumshots, free rides to stores only I wanted to go to, booty calls when they were completely inappropiate (ie 'why don't you drive down from Wisconsin so I can fuck you and then make you stay at your parents because I want to sleep by myself?'), oh yeah and some hotel issues... and facial cum-shots. Boy, was our relationship demeaning... Ugh, leaves quite the bad taste in my mouth.

Anyway, the bottom line is that she looked really good, certainly that she had at least come into her own, which made my both happy for her and sad at the same time... God, I was such a dick to her and I know that it's self-pity but she never did anything to treat me bad and I completely took advantage of her trust and innocent nature. Not to say I didn't enjoy it at the time... plus, I got to live out a couple porn fantasies...

Quite honestly though, I was never that interested in her as a person... just more of a fetish and god knows I said somethings to her that I shouldn't have. Ay de mi, the mistakes of my past...

Eh, it's just guilt, I suppose. No-one deserves to be treated like that.

Anyhoo, saw Goldmember last night and it was **1/2 stars. Funny, but not even half as creative as the other two.

Going to see High Contrast play an in-store at Tower today. Hopefully, it'll be kosher.

2002-07-29T11:27:00.000-05:00

oh yeah, the Gerhard Richter exhibit is now at the Art Institute. Dead thrilled, I'm thinking that J and I will go next weekend. also forgot to mention that I attended the Gursky exhibit at MCA which was fantastic. One photo with a bridge and a man walking down a hill captivated me for some reason. very solitary and grey...

2002-07-29T11:25:00.000-05:00

had a very relaxing weekend. friday night,. stayed in and worked on a whole bunch of tracks still trying to finish my jienan ep. was fairly productive music-wise, so i was somehwat pleased with that. then, for some reason, ah! because i had promised J I would finish the pictures site, I worked on the Actually Records website and finally put up three pages with links. hotchie motchie! I like the way they all look but lordy, I wish I knew some JAVA because they are just so damn bland. Still, I like the aesthetic of them all... oh well, at least something is up..

saturday day was spent working on more tracks. started up about five new ones and actually finished three! Amazed and feeling so incredibly creative these days... I love it. Have started making new sounds again which is really exciting... interesting time developing new sonic atmospheres by combining live recordings with studio sounds with organic homemade ones... whatever, the fun thing is that alot of the jienan ep sounds like it's recorded live whcih i really enjoy. feels much more open than alot of my material.

sunday was cool. JonM came over to do some recording with the guitar... which was fine but the real highlight was putting together two songs we've worked on towards a live sound... and i have to say, i'm pretty impressed. shoegaze guitar/hip hop/ heavy electronics/ indie style singing... interesting mixture... JonM's going to scandanavia for two weeks... damn depressing ,really.

after he left, J came over with that 'just worked out' look that turned me on completely... brilliant sex followed... then 40 minute bike ride. good times, good times...

ryuichi sakamoto is coming 09/08... oh hell, i'm exicited...

2002-07-25T00:23:00.000-05:00

just watched 'the others.' man, it's disappointing. i was hoping for something along the lines of 'rebecca', but instead it's not only unsuspenseful, it's pretty turgid to boot. oh well, at least i know now. i've been wanting to see that fucker for ages...

some thoughts about some records:

the new fc/kahuna album 'machines say yes' is unbelievable. unbafuckinglievable. i'm just amazed. the title track is just a brilliant amalgamation of almost ever euro-dance sound since giorgio moroder... makes me jealous like a ho.

the new underworld album 'one hundred days off' is utterly spectacular. the tracks 'two months off' and 'dinosaur adventure 3d' will EXPLODE. i can't wait!

the new flaming lips album is pretty good. not as immediate as 'the soft bulletin', but it takes pretty much every other experimental rawk album to task... goodygoody...

i should be in bed but i slept so much last night, i doubt it'll happen if i lie down. so, i'm just gonna stay up a little more and work on my track that's based around the faux band's song from 'bedazzled.' it coming along but it's just not THERE yet, which is pretty irrritating because i like the scratch track alot. i guess on some level i'm still haunted by my complete failure to finish my remix of jarrod's track 'everything must fall.' i started that fucker back in november and it's STILL not done. I've played it out a couple of times and it's gotten some good response but man, I want it on my Ventilation Angle cd. Fork it, I'll figure something out. I'm pretty sure it needs a live drummer but where am i going to get a drummer and the money to pay her/him?

Dear god, Julia has some great chord changes...

2002-07-24T14:47:00.000-05:00

blah.

went to einstein's today for lunch today and because i couldn't find anything to read i ended up browsing the Catering Menu! HAHAHA!!! Sometimes I just amuse myself too much... I kinda get some kind of retarded kick reading menus because it's so obviously retarded. I mean, I'm currently trying to read Mishima's 'Spring Snow' but it's a bit dense for lunches, methinks and boy, immersing myself in all the different varieties of Einstein's box lunches is a much better payoff, hohoho! Still, it's better than eating lunch with other people, I kinda hate that... Dinner is my social time... Lunch is my 'I'm fucking hungry and I don't want to talk about our placement statistics outside of work. Plus, I'm gassy and I want to be able to fart freely rather than fenagle some silent but deadlys at the table... especially when i'm eating...' I hate farting while eating but it's such an overtly transgressive social act that i can't help it sometimes... oh, stop the fun wheel cause i'm goin' crazeh!

finished my most counterintuitive remix yesterday of JM's song... I think it's interesting but I'm not sure if I like it. But, it's different and new and that's good enough for me, I guess... or I hope...

Work is pissing me off right now...

2002-07-23T09:48:00.000-05:00

Saw Julia Fordham perform last night. Lordy, is she good in concert. Per usual, while I was waiting in line J and I chatted with some fans who are always:
1) much more into the group than me (even PSB! This guy in Leicester had seen them more than 10 times around the world. Even flew to Asia and the USA! Crazy!)
2) nice.
3) more than eager to discuss the band or life in general.

For example, last night we met this guy Mike, from the Czech Republic whose favorite music is folk music based on automous polymelodies. Because of that, we started chatting about Eastern European music in general which led to discussing Arvo Part, Henryck Gorecki (pronounced Henrick Goretzky, he informed me... how you like them apples?), twelve-note system, Giancarlo Scelsi, tonalism, etc... in the span of about twenty minutes. Funny how easy it is for people to communicate when they have one predetermined common attribute.

Reminds of the good ol' days I had on IRC w/ #petshopboys.

Back to Julia: Man, oh man was she good. Her voice was impeccable throughout the night, and her melodies/chord changes are just brilliant... and she told some damn funny anecdotes about her songs, too. Plus, she's foxy as all get out so I was quite the happy camper.

I used to listen to her driving to OU all the time...

I shouldn't write so much but it takes me awhile to get into the groove at work... cause you gotta prove your love to me!

2002-07-22T15:32:00.000-05:00

Good god, I’m having the hardest time recovering from the weekend. Drank like I was still in college on Friday night and spent all of the next two days recovering. Oh yeah, plus I had the mad runs on Saturday while we were walking around downtown. Boy, you think you know fun… and then you find yourself in the bathroom of the CMA shooting gravy out your ass and making gaseous noises you previously thought that only White Castle could cause. But oh no, my friends:

BEER + SAUERKRAUT + SWAMP ASS = MASSIVE FIVE TIER RIPPAGE

The kind that goes: ‘bweee-thwamp-schzzzt- OH GOD, IT BURNS!!!!- thllllptt-chaffff!!!’ is what I’m talking about. Now, throw in the fact I was in a public restroom and you can only imagine the giggles and chortles I heard from the poor souls who were in there at the same time.

Jebus Cripes!

Other than that, had a brilliant time with the GUTS crew kicking it around the city. They got along with J especially well which was wicked considering she’ll be subjected to our shenanigans in two weeks. A good appetizer for the coming insanity...

2002-05-29T15:39:00.000-05:00

ok, so it begins.
this is where i am:
for the past month or so, i have been fighting with my girlfriend on almost a daily basis.
therefore...
i feel like I'm losing my mind.
also:
i haven't created music for the same amount of time.
does it correlate? probably. how? fork it if i know.
i feel nauseous.